Gives Me Hope 58615

Today, Google Reader streamed this Gives Me Hope to my window:

Today, I was at the mall with two of my friends.

Suddenly, we saw a mother, who was about 16, with her child. One of my friends started talking about how much of a whore she must be.

Then, my other friend said, "Don't make fun of her. My mom had me when she was 16 due to rape."

My friend immediately stopped. My friend's mom GMH.

As a pro-life person, I believe that we need to combat the stigma our society places on young and unwed motherhood. As a Catholic person, I understand the dilemma this proposition creates for religious and morally conservative pro-lifers. After all, pre-marital sex is morally wrong, and as a Catholic, I cannot, in conscience, condone it. However, no one should be driven to take the life of her child because she hates that people in the mall -- and people who supposedly love her -- will see her and talk about "how much of a whore she must be."

The potential for pregnancy creates a unique situation for a woman, whether she has consensual sex or is raped. The consequences of the action will be written on her body in a way that she cannot hide. No sin that I can think of (please let me know, dear readers, if you can think of any) is made so inexorably public as premarital sex that creates a child.

This fact does not make the sin any more grave than other sins which people might commit; her sin is merely no longer private. Even if she gives into temptation only once, she receives a worse part from society than people who have habitual and private sins. Indeed, the societal stigma doesn't come from the fact that the woman was sexually active, but from her pregnancy. The shame is not for the action, but for the consequence.

It doesn't help that right now, women bear the bulk of the responsibility for contraception. We fought so hard in the '60s and '70s for contraception as a mark of equality. Now that "victory" continues to reinforce the idea that a woman has sole responsibility for her pregnancy. Never mind that a man had to help her out there -- the sign of his sin is not on his body. No, it is written on the body of the woman. Even in the case of rape, where the woman bears no part in the moral wrong, the consequence falls on her body.

I believe arguments similar to this one have been used by those in favor of legal abortion : the woman has an unfair burden and to reach equality, we must take that burden off of her. Give her an eraser, to un-write the mark upon her body.

The problem is that pregnancy is not merely a pencil mark, and abortion does not "erase" it. Pregnancy is the existence of life and abortion kills that. That's the simple, "pro-life" answer.

The other problem is that legalized abortion does nothing to change the unfair stigma on women; it merely provides society another way to pretend it does not have this prejudice. If women can hide the fact that pregnancy comes from intercourse, society can pretend that it does not and continue to judge women who defy that lie.

Rather than hiding pregnant women and young mothers, we should support them. Again, I realize this course of action may seem tricky for pro-lifers who cannot, in good conscience, condone a sin. Providing help to a woman who needs support through her pregnancy does not condone any action other than compassion. The mark of a Christian is love, not condemnation.