Frank asked me what the phrase “gift of self” might mean,
with the disclaimer that as my “token non-christian reader” he didn’t
know. First of all, I want to give a
shout-out to the other non-Christians who read this blog – I know that at least
one other of my loyal 3.5 readers shies away from any religious
persuasion. Secondly, I want to give a
shout-out to those Christians/Catholics who might read this and think, “Well, I
don’t exactly know what ‘gift of self’ means either.”
It’s a hallmark John Paul II phrase, lifted especially from
his Theology of the Body, so there is no way I will do justice to it in one
post. If you really want to understand
the phrase, read Man and Woman He Created Them, JPII’s audiences on the
theology of the body compiled into one book.
And read it with a competent moral theologian by your side. (Ooh-ooh-pick-me-pick-me! I’m looking for a job!) I’ll do my best, however.
Gift of self, or self-gift, describes how persons relate to
each other. It means giving of oneself
in a full and free manner, an openness towards the other that says, “I am
yours,” and does not hold back. It is a
self-offering that is love. For JPII,
the preeminent example is the Trinity: the Father pours Himself out to the Son,
the Son reciprocates this love to the Father, and the love bursts forth to be
the Spirit.
For my non-Christian readers, or the Christians who haven’t
pondered the Trinity in this manner, the primary earthly example is marital
love. Husband and wife give themselves
to the other in a love that encompasses all aspects of their being. In the words of Scott Hahn, “this love is so
tangible that nine months later you have to give it a name.” It is total (hence, no divorce) and
life-giving (hence, babies) and consists of an orientation of oneself to the
other and a strong will for the good of the other.
I feel like I’ve been talking around it for long enough now
that hopefully this sheds some life on self-gift. If not, question away, and I will revisit the
topic – possibly while studying for my Theology of the Body exam!
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