The Space I Occupy

When feminism was a fun idea and before I pursued it in a haphazard academic fashion, I learned a fact that surprised me.  Men and women are taught to take up space differently.  Men are taught to sit, stand, move while taking up lots of space.  Women, on the other hand, are taught to be self-contained -- folded hands, legs, tucking in ourselves and our stuff.  If these two Google searches don't sufficiently demonstrate the difference, watch this video without sound, just paying attention to body language and posture.  Or, take a train ride during rush hour. Sit down next to a window and pay attention to how the people next to you sit.

This particular lesson stuck out to me because I remembered learning how to sit as a child.  I would sit in the most comfortable position -- which often involved on foot on the opposite leg's knee (this is a great way as a small child to hold a large book) or my legs spread in some other way.  I had to learn (rather reluctantly) to sit with my legs together, making myself compact.  Now, I am very talented at this.  It amazes me at times the difference in the amount of space the Captain and I take up in a church pew -- despite the fact that we are relatively the same size.  

All these musings are meant to lead up to this Upworthy video that wandered across my Facebook recently.  A young woman recited a bit of slam poetry that addresses how men and women take up space.  She spends much of her time discussing food, but I think it goes deeper than how much pizza we can eat:

Divorce and the Pill

Here's an interesting take on the Pill from a surprising source.  Scientific American seems to be claiming that the Pill leads to higher divorce rates.  Here's the two ways that happens, according to this article:

1) The Pill leads women to be attracted to men with major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes that are more similar, rather than less similar to their own.  Couples with similar MHC genes report less sexual satisfaction.  Less sexual satisfaction could contribute to divorce.

2) The Pill leads women to be attracted to men with major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes that are more similar, rather than less similar to their own. When a couple decides to have a baby, the woman goes off the Pill and finds herself less attracted to her husband, while simultaneously more attracted to other men.  This change in attraction could lead to divorce.

Let me put in a few disclaimers and explanatory notes here:

*Just because widespread use of the Pill might lead to a higher divorce rate, it does not necessarily follow that an individual woman should not use the Pill for contraceptive purposes.

*I think that (i.e. women should not use the Pill for contraceptive purposes) for other reasons.

*If there is a correlation between use of the Pill and divorce, it should be enough for most women to think twice about the decision to use hormonal contraception.  I don't want to be less attracted to my husband at the exact moment we want to have children.

*The changes in attraction from the use of hormonal contraception might be a social scientific explanation of divorce rates, but they are not an excuse for any individual divorce.  It might be harder to make a marriage work in these circumstances, but (barring abusive situations) divorce should simply not be an option.

The thing that interests me most about this article is that it comes from a source without a Christian bias. The point isn't to convince women not to use hormonal contraceptives, but to draw attention to an interesting scientific fact.  And whatever we disagree on, I think most people of good will agree that women should have all the facts before making decisions about the drugs we use.

Color Me Beautiful

I missed last week by a day -- oops.  Here's one of my favorite links in my "Blog Me" folder by way of apology.  It's part of  Dove's Real Beauty Campaign.  Imagine describing yourself to a sketch artist.  How accurate do you think the picture would be?  How much would it vary from a picture he would draw based on someone else's description?  That's what Dove did.

I love the idea, and I know the message hits a lot of young women in a place they need some comfort.  However, the rational, skeptical side of me wants to try it with men.  Do men see themselves differently than other people do?  We focus a lot of attention on women and body image.  I would love to see some evidence that (if) the gender-bias reflects a reality.

Visual Sociology

Via Unequally Yoked, here is a fun bit of sociology. (Yes, this came from my file of "cool, I should blog this" bookmarks... and about 5 months ago.)  The map shows where "Missed Connections" happen, broken down by state.  It also has some numbers about age differences and who is seeking whom.  Before you look below, can you guess which state has the highest percentage of women seeking women?  (And what that number might be?)

Rape Culture and the Christian Perspective

As a woman who is Catholic and identifies as a feminist, I reach some awkward discords at times, and one of the most glaring is simply that people use different languages.  When Catholics write about things, they write with a Catholic vocabulary and assume their readers share a knowledge base and a world-view that many people simply do not.  For example, I was listening to a speaker on Monday who based a "secular" claim on the fact that "what we do with our bodies means something."  He was going for something as simple as "sex means 'I love you,'" but even that cannot be taken for granted in dialogue.  

The same thing happens from the other perspective.  I find wonderful articles that use language I don't want to share, or terms such as "het/cis," which can be off-putting to a more conservative religious crowd.  I try to bridge the gap at times, but other people are better thinkers and more articulate writers than I am, so I really want to share their thoughts.

Then, every now and then, something like this appears.  It brings together issues like rape culture, feminism, porn, purity, sin, misogyny, and solutions -- but from a Christian perspective.  Take a read and let me know what you think.

Assigned Reading

... or rather viewing.  I don't watch things online -- I prefer to take in information through reading.  It goes at my own pace, allows me to skim, and doesn't make noises.  So this video sat in a perpetually opened tab for about two weeks before I watched it.  Now it's your turn: you need to see it as preparation for my next installment of "Beth the Feminist."  Oh, yeah, and it's a TED video, so it's good.  It's Brené Brown on "The Power of Vulnerability."

The 98%

With the HHS mandate making all kinds of news (and a compromise being proposed, though I don't have details on that at the moment), a number has been bandied around.  "98% of Catholic women use contraception."  I've spent much time being indignant about this line of argumentation and questioned the number; I even blogged a bit about it.

However, I didn't do one thing that a more serious Catholic blogger did: ask about these women.  No matter what the number, these women matter.  Jennifer Fulwiler writes about her interaction with the 98% and offers an analysis that startled me, although it probably should not have.  Many of these women are not setting out in blatant, pig-headed opposition to the Catholic Church.  They are misled in their thoughts and knowledge about the position and seriousness of the Church on this issue.  Which seems surprising to me, but I come from a very Catholic family in a very conservative diocese.  Other people do not.  As Fulwiler points out, no matter what the other fallout of this debate, at least it is making the Church very clear about her position and thus aiding her in guiding her sheep a little more closely.

Crazy Love

Facebook led me to this TED Talk today.  I don't really have anything to say about it, other than that you should watch:

Abortion: Who Decides?

Take a look at this story about a Nevada woman with mental impairments who became pregnant.  It apparently was newsworthy that a judge decided she could continue her pregnancy.  

A lot about this story bothered me.  Some of it has to do with the reporting (or lack thereof) rather than the details... though if I knew for sure, I might still be disturbed.  

First of all, the woman is said to have "the mental capacity of a six year old."  Yet it is questioned if she had "consensual" sex with the father of the child.  How is this even possible?  Does the idea of statutory rape not apply in the case of impaired mental capacity?  If not, whyever not?

Secondly, from the way the story reads, the judge stated that in some cases, the court would have the authority to force an abortion, in spite of the wishes of the woman and the parents (who are her legal guardians) -- and possibly even the doctors involved.  What? In what case ever would it be acceptable for a court to order a person to have an abortion?

If the woman and her parents do not want an abortion, why was it ever on the table to start?  What justification does anyone have to bring it to the discussion in that case?

Finally, a question not about details but about our legal process.  In this story, it appears that the woman and her legal guardians agree about carrying the pregnancy to term.  What would happen if they disagreed?  Whose "rights" would trump?  Whose rights should trump?  

Hipster Love, Part II

I've shared my love for hipsters on here before.  I believe I mentioned that I laugh at them and want to befriend them at the same time.  I find their skinny jeans amusing and their love of local endearing.  Their sense of irony, however, implies a cultural awareness and distance that I could never hope to achieve.

Of course, my mind went straight to my hipster-love when I clicked the link to this article on How to Live Without Irony.  The writer lambastes our entire generation for its trademark use of irony, which she characterizes as a "self-defensive mode" that acts as "preemptive surrender" to any critique or criticism.  While the scope of her attention goes beyond the hipster, she sees the hipster as icon of this irony that characterizes all that Millennial do and are.

I found especially interesting one little list, thrown in sideways:

Where can we find other examples of nonironic living? What does it look like? Nonironic models include very young children, elderly people, deeply religious people, people with severe mental or physical disabilities, people who have suffered, and those from economically or politically challenged places where seriousness is the governing state of mind.

 What a crazy group of bedfellows.  The funny thing is that this list could be one of people that Christians see as especially blessed by God.  The writer goes forward with the small child example to illustrate her point, but I am more intrigued by, well, everyone else on this list.

I'm particularly interested in the "deeply religious people" category, because I might fit in there, but also because that is the category that is out to bring others in.  Yet the writer doesn't mention religion as a solution to irony.  Yet its ghost is there.  Here's the last question on her irony self-inventory -- are you seeing the word "conversion" as well?

The most important question: How would it feel to change yourself quietly, offline, without public display, from within?

A Long Overdue Feminist Rant

Mostly because you haven't had one from me in a while.  This article came across my radar very recently.  The headline is provocative and also wrong: "Saudi Arabia’s Alternative to Photoshopping Women Out of Ads: Scribbling All Over Cleavage."

The article discusses Ikea's decision to photoshop women out of ads in catalogs shipped to Saudi Arabia and subsequent repentance of that decision.  It comes fully equipped with photos to show Ikea's artistry as well as the alternative --"Scribbling All Over Cleavage," according to the headline.  Take a look though.  The women's cleavage has not been covered: in many cases the entire woman has, leaving a black shadow or pixelated ghost where a woman had been.

It gives an eerie visual for a sexism that we sometimes here about in America, but rarely see, reminding us of the work yet to be done in the world.

And While We're Into Feminism...

I found this on Julia's tumblr.... Enjoy!

Feminism and Femininity

Not terribly long ago, there was an internet hype about this article by Anne-Marie Slaughter of Princeton University.  I think I promised to blog about it.  The article is titled "Why Women Still Can't Have It All."  I took a while to get around to reading it, assuming it was just another feminist rant that might be true but missed the point and offered no realistic solutions.

Instead, Slaughter offers something new to the debate surround the work-family conflict.  She legitimizes women who feel this conflict deeply.  It is very rare to find an academic woman who states, "Women can't have it all."

Like the young women Slaughter brings up in her article, I find great relief in a woman of her position admitting it.  I am currently not balancing work and family, but I spend perhaps too much mental energy figuring out how I might be able to achieve that balance.

Not only does Slaughter admit the problem, but she sees it manifesting differently in men and women --and admits that this is okay.  Women not only seem to feel the separation from their families due to work differently than men do, but they also react differently.  Rather than suggesting that the two genders try to equalize their feelings, she suggests ways to keep women in the working world.

I don't necessarily agree with all the solutions Slaughter offers (longer school days would mean more institutional parenting and less parent parenting), but I am glad to see this piece entering the academic conversation.  I keep searching the Christian side of things to find the joining point between feminism and femininity, but maybe I should be scouring social sciences as well.

Latchkey Kids and Time to Shower

When I was in undergrad and it got to be crunch time for exams and papers, or retreats and SFL events, I used to turn to Wendy and say, "I can do without sleep.  But you know it's bad when you don't have time to eat, pee, or shower."  (That might be the crassest language my mother has heard me use.  Sorry, Mom; be assured it's just about as crass as I get.)

At the College, being busy was a badge of pride.  I don't remember ever comparing GPAs  (I only looked at mine when I update my resume), but we compared how much or how little we slept, the tiny amount of free time we had in a week, the number of overlapping and conflicting events each day.  It was a strange, twisted form of competition:  whoever is the least healthy wins.  I still, unfortunately, take a twisted bit of pride in often winning.

Busted Halo had an article that referenced a Times blog about the cult of busyness in our society.  Tim Kreider, who wrote the Times piece, refers himself as part of the latchkey generation, who grew up roaming wild after school, rather than jumping from activity to activity.

I'm not sure if I count as a latchkey kid, since my mother's work schedule changed throughout my school career and I was rarely home alone for hours.  However, I related to Kreider's description of his childhood activities: "everything from surfing the World Book Encyclopedia to making animated films to getting together with friends in the woods to chuck dirt clods directly into one another’s eyes, all of which provided me with important skills and insights that remain valuable to this day."

Our Encyclopedias were not World Book, we wrote stories instead of animating films, and we  tended to make homes under bushes rather than through dirt (the females were dominant in that group).  I too learned valuable life-lessons that I am rediscovering now that I have stepped back from the life Kreider describes.  (Not as dramatically as he has, but still back.)

I am discovering silence.  The Busted Halo writer, Phil Fox Rose, mentions this aspect that Kreider doesn't cover.  I could go on about silence, but as others already have, I will stop chattering at you and let you get to reading these two pieces and clicking the links in the Busted Halo post.

My Demure Feminist

From the hype about American nuns to a recent article about the work-family balance (more on both of those later), my inner feminist has been getting a lot of exercise lately.  I stumbled across this gem at Busted Halo this morning.  The author, Vanessa Gonzalez Kraft, contributes thoughtful, well-written pieces to Busted Halo, so while I sometimes disagree with her, I respect her (and actually read her pieces).


This time, I think Kraft hits something very true and not often discussed.  She writes about a shy smile and sweet look she used to avoid criticism in art class and generalizes this strategy to strong women who appear "precious" -- sweet and crushable -- as a method of downplaying their own strength.  I recognized myself in the description.  


When I moved up to Steubenville l last August, I tried to moderate my intense personality.  I smiled sweetly, sat quietly, and commiserated with confused students.  At that point, I was trying to figure out if I could change to become that quieter girl.  By second semester, I knew I was not happy with that change, so I re-embraced my bolder self.  


However, my "precious" avatar did not die.  She still makes appearances to disguise to bold Beth.  Like Kraft's soft-spoken self, she hides my true gifts when I am reluctant to show them.  I can get on the "Stop being precious" bandwagon.

Protests and Mandates

Remember that HHS mandate that kept popping up a few months ago?  Today I went to my second rally against it.  This date marks the anniversary of the ratification of the Bill of Rights* and rallies took place across the country to fight for the rights there guaranteed.  Emily and I attended the one in DC.

As always at this type of events, some speakers said great things and some spouted alarmist rhetoric.  Luckily, Emily has at least as stubborn a liberal streak as I do and we could make comments to eat other. Among the good: Michelle Bachmann called us a "Gideon's Army"; David Bereit is always my hero; the representative from the Becket Fund was passionate, articulate, and reasonable.

Distracting factors: Nuns, friars, priests, not everywhere, but enough.  The father and small child (about a year and a half) standing near us.  A woman who passed out and left with the rescue squad.  So many cameras and people posing with witty and frustrating signs.

Awkward moment of the day: I was wearing a fun, floppy straw hat.  I think that is why a man with a video camera spent the last 3rd of the National Anthem focused on my face as he stood no more that 6 feet from me.

*Correction (06/09/2012; thanks to Frank): June 8 is the day that Madison introduced amendments that became the Bill of Rights.

Fun with Graphs and Rosaries

"WM Hiker Runner" requested that I discuss this graph from a previous post/CARA.  Now that semesters and weddings are over, and since I haven't received coursework in the mail yet, I have time!

The graph summarizes the interaction of Catholics with particular bits of material culture.  The Catholics surveyed are divided into two groups: all Catholics and weekly Mass-goers.  I found the highest and lowest disparities of particular interest:  weekly Mass goers are twice as likely to carry a rosary (there is a 22 percentage point difference).  The difference in cross-wearing is smaller: only seven percentage points and nowhere near twice as likely.  Mass attendance, of course, is not the cause of the rosary-carrying, but the correlations makes sense.  Both are strongly related to a specifically Catholic spiritual identity.  Wearing a cross is not necessarily so: it is Christian, but not exclusively Catholic.  Along the same lines, crosses are made to be worn, rosaries prayed.

I would love to continue a study like this.  Who wears crosses and carries (or wears) rosaries?  What is the reasoning?  Is it a personal reminder or a way of identifying oneself to others?  How does this vary based on the type of material object: rosary, prayer card, saint medal, cross?  Maybe someone has already done this study and I just need to find it.

The Borders of Our Lives

Some really fun maps marking out sociological, rather than geographical, borders.

Rosaries and Graphs

I love this graph from CARA.  I wish I had time to discuss it, but a paper is calling.

Men and Beer

Here's a fun study that has nothing to do with my research, other than as relates to Facebook procrastination.  Apparently beer helps men with some types of thought.  I would love to see 1) what the intoxication threshold is for improved vs. decreased creative thought and 2) if the same holds true for women.