The past weekend, Ana came into town! She and I planned to go out on Percy's family's boat on day. In anticipation, I had a dire revelation the Thursday before she flew in : my swimsuit was wearing thin. No longer a good option to wear on a boat with my best friend, let alone anyone's parents.
So I braced myself and did something I hate. I went swimsuit shopping.
Unlike, say, toothpaste shopping, I do not find the options overwhelming, in spite of the many choices out there for swimsuits. Rather, I find that there are few to no swimsuits I would consider buying. Add budget constraints because I refuse to participate in our ridiculous vanity economy, and swimsuit shopping becomes nearly impossible.
I ended up with a cute top from a clearance rack and a full-price bottom -- a suit that covers considerably more than most other swimsuits out there. Modesty to me has always been a tricky question. I know girls who wear long skirts all the time to be modest, girls who would never be seen in shorts that came more than an inch above the knee, and girls whose shorts don't reach their fingertips. I know girls who wouldn't show their collarbone and girls who think a little cleavage is okay. My mother, whom I consider a paragon of virtue, approves of some bikinis.
For myself, I am still figuring out what is "modest" and "immodest." I know I draw a line in one place when looking at others and a lot more conservatively when considering what I wear. For example, I refused to buy a regular swimsuit bottom; instead I managed to hunt down a little skirt (the joy of my day!). However, I don't disapprove of them on other people. I just know where I feel comfortable and which parts of myself I am okay with other people seeing. Rules of modesty are in many ways culturally determined. Rules of what I wear are comfort determined.
That being said, the selection of swimsuits still shocks me. I don't think we're at the point where everything sold in the swim-wear section counts as modest. And I know we are not at the point where every girl in the market wants to expose herself that way. And yet it is somewhere between a scavenger hunt and a wild goose chase to find a swimsuit that I am comfortable hanging out in all day. Especially when there are boys and parents involved.
What I really want is a world where women and girls can look good without looking "hot." The reason I hate the phrase that is the title of this blog is because it still buys into the end goal that makes our feminine/beauty culture so messed up. If our goal is to look hot, it is by definition not modest, whether or not swimsuits are involved.
I really like this post.
ReplyDeleteSwimsuit shopping is just about my least favorite activity EVER. Not only are swimsuits incredibly skimpy yet expensive, they pretty much don't make them for well-endowed women. Or rather, well-endowed women are expected to look trashy (or adversely, like Grandma). Society has a double standard when it comes to women's bodies, and it never fails to make me angry.
I definitely agree that there is a difference between modesty and personal comfort, and that both are important (and also that the goal shouldn't be to look "hot"). It certainly is difficult for me to find "nice" looking things that aren't (a) incredibly expensive or (b) inappropriate for public view.
Why can't we just wear togas?
Thanks for the support, Laura! It's good to know I don't always hold these sentiments alone. Unfortunately, prostitutes wore togas, while respectable women did not...
ReplyDeletePersonally, this is why my daily uniform is Pajama Jeans + those "NO FEAR" T-shirts, with jelly sandals. Add a homemade poncho if it's cold, and a CamelBak if it's hot. BAM. I do accept personal checks for this styling advice, ladies.
ReplyDelete(no, great post, Beth...you are not alone in this)
Thanks for the encouragement! I think a concerted effort to bring pajama jeans into style is needed, for more reasons than mere modesty.
ReplyDelete