Some Thoughts for Exam Time

1) Technically "exam time" hasn't started: I still have 3 more days of classes.  But since I have done nothing for the past four weeks other than paper research/writing, praying, and running, and now I have started turning things in, it feels like the end.  Really it is, since everything comes due in a week from Monday.

2) I swallowed my academic pride and asked for an extension due to being overwhelmed for the first time.  I asked for one other extension in my life and that was due to the death of my lappy and consequent loss of my paper.

3) I made a commitment at the beginning of my academic career to keeping a Sabbath from school work on Sundays.  It's an exercise in trust, obedience, and balance.  It is extremely frightening at this point in time and I have had to hide some of my books and close tabs that perennially open to databases/card catalogs.

4) One week until the half-marathon!  We've had a fun dance of people dropping in and out of the race, but as of now there are four of us: Brother Bear, Tommy More, JP (yes, someone new on the blog!), and myself.  All systems are go for 13.1 in 7 days!

5) We had a juggling priest come visit my New Evangelization class.  I was thrown back to the days when I was in elementary school.  One weekend, after I had sprained my elbow and got to have all sorts of fun x-rays, my parents went to "Deanery Five Enrichment Day."  (The things that stick in my head...) There, a priest entertained the children by juggle knives while their parents did grown up things.  Turns out, it was the same priest!

6) As a consequence, I am considering trying again to learn to juggle.  By which I mean, practicing till I can do it, since I've already "learned."  The problem is the associated emotional baggage.  But it might be worth it so that I can juggle.

7) I feel self-conscious wearing my South Butt hoodie around campus, for fear I might scandalize some poor little freshman or small child who is visiting campus with his or her alumni parents.  See number 1 on this list as to why I was wandering campus in said hoodie and jeans and sneakers.  I felt infinitely better about it when one of my favorite priests complemented it.

Rosaries and Graphs

I love this graph from CARA.  I wish I had time to discuss it, but a paper is calling.

Day-Maker #61

My brakes were making strange noises.  Now they are not, and they were made better at no cost to me!

Tidbits

I don't think I've linked to my Pintrest yet.  Now that I have safely disconnected it from Facebook, I offer you this link: http://pinterest.com/bzag/.  Look at fun stuff!

Men and Beer

Here's a fun study that has nothing to do with my research, other than as relates to Facebook procrastination.  Apparently beer helps men with some types of thought.  I would love to see 1) what the intoxication threshold is for improved vs. decreased creative thought and 2) if the same holds true for women.

Hitched to Everything Else

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.

~John Muir
As I conduct my research for Theological Foundations, I am discovering how much I don't know.  Every question I ask is connected to twenty other questions that may or may not be answered.  I spent forty minutes talking things out with Dr. Sirilla today and, while I feel better about my assessments of certain ideas, I have very few questions answered.  And a pervading sense of my own ignorance alongside a long reading and learning list.

The most interesting document by far that I have read is this notification.  I read some of Jacques Dupuis, who is under investigation for some possibly misleading/unorthodox views.  So I looked up the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith's notification regarding his book.  Not only did it help clarify some questions and raise new ones, but it provides some insights as to the disposition of Dupuis and the CDF -- mostly that he too is wrestling with tough questions, but trying hard to remain within the bounds of orthodoxy.  We've talked rather extensively about questioning and dissent in this class, and now I am witnessing it in action.

Prayer Segment #8: Mercy

Today is Divine Mercy Sunday.  It's a very new feast, in terms of the Church: JP II declared the feast for the 2nd Sunday of Easter in 2000.  There is a novena leading up to the day.  If I had been on top of things last week, I would have posted it then.  Keep this in your back pocket for next Good Friday.  Although you can pray the novena any time.  So maybe keep it in your front pocket too.

The Chaplet, given by Christ to St. Faustina, is one of my favorite prayers.  It begs God for mercy with two short prayers (said on rosary beads):

Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, of your dearly beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and for those of the whole world.

For the sake of his sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

It speaks to me in the simplicity of the way it unites self-accusation and intercession... and brings them before the Cross.  I am a sinner in need of mercy; I recognize that the world is in need of mercy; Jesus' death and life overflow with mercy.

Christ also gave St. Faustina an image to meditate: rays of light and red, water and blood, flowing from his heart. As the wounds of Christ grow more meaningful to my prayer life (I've mentioned this before, yes?), so does this image of his wounded Heart.

Finally, as a less spiritual note, St. Faustina unites my heritage.  She is Polish, which makes me feel united with my dad's mother, and she was baptized Helen, my mom's mother's name.

On Truth

For two of my classes (Theological Foundation and Historical Foundations), I am doing literature reviews.  (Have I mentioned this already?)  One is on women's public roles in the early Church and the other is about the "rays of truth" in non-Christian religions.  In my research for the second, I came across this gem from Paul VI, that still holds true half a century later:


"It seems that the mind of modern man does not find rest if not in the absolute negation, in the abandonment of any certainty, of any faith, just as those who have damaged eyes do not find rest except in the darkness."

Pushing the Limit

I am researching for two literature reviews -- one for each of my foundations courses.  And by "researching" I mean searching catalogs and databases only to discover that I do not have access to the sources and tabbing over to InterLibrary Loan.  In fact, I have four search tabs open in Chrome: two multi-database search engines, the Franciscan library catalog, and the ILL request form.  We have two ILL options: one within Ohio universities and one without.  I have discovered the limit for requests within the library system, and my research has been temporarily halted.  In case you are wondering, this makes me inordinately sad.

This Is the Night!

Happy Easter!  I just returned from the Easter Vigil and the Resurrection Party.  After three and a half hours of Mass, an hour of partying and an hour of dancing, I am still on too much of a high to sleep.  So I want to wish you all a very happy Easter!  One of my favorite part about being Catholic is how we celebrate.  After a build-up of weeks (and in this case three intense days), we start the party as early as possible (with a Vigil Mass) and keep going -- tomorrow I have three Easter parties, and then we hit the Octave of Easters -- eight liturgical "Sundays" where we keep the joy alive.  And then we have the whole Easter season!  Which lets you know that this day is a big deal.  It's what we're all about, and it extends past the one Sunday into our year and into our lives.

So rejoice!  Celebrate!  Imagine the ridiculous smile that has been plastered over my face all night as I resist the urge to turn to everyone and say, "Guess what?! It's EASTER!" as I do a little dance -- and smile yourself!  Happy Easter!

Glorified Wounds

On Wednesday, the Protestant soup kitchen where I volunteer celebrated Easter.  As happy as I was to behold the feast spread before us, it hurt my heart a little bit, because the waiting wasn't over.  In fact, we were gearing up for the most intense part of the preparation for Easter.  Before we get to the end, we have to journey through the beginning of the Paschal Mystery.

The Church celebrates the Triduum -- the three days that take us through the Last Supper, the Crucifixion and death of Jesus, and His Resurrection.  These three days are steeped in liturgical richness; even the bareness of the service today speaks volumes.  (In case you don't know, there is no Mass celebrated between the night of Holy Thursday and the Easter Vigil on Saturday.  There is a liturgy on Friday, but it is not a Mass.  From my perspective at least, this is devastating and profound.)

In the celebration of Christ's Passion and death, I find myself contemplating Christ's wounds.  Maybe because we just had a retreat on the Five Wounds of Christ (two feet, two hands, and His side).  His wounds set us free.  His pain, His suffering, His brokenness -- it heals me, puts me back together in all the ways I fall apart.  And when Easter comes, the pain, the suffering, the death all go away.  But the wounds remain.  Even when He has a glorified body, He has holes in His hands, His feet, His side.

God doesn't just heal wounds.  He glorifies them.

For me, letting God heal wounds is a lot easier than letting Him glorify them.  When He heals them, they stop hurting and I can forget about them, hide them, never show them to anyone.  If He glorifies them, He gets to use them for His Kingdom.  But that means that they, though no longer bleeding, are visible. It's the taller order, but the greater good.  After all, it was through Christ's wounds that Thomas came to believe.

Someone Else's Thoughts on Lent

I woke up yesterday, and it was Palm Sunday.   (Actually, it's a debate among Shelly, Brother Bear, Thom, and myself -- I may have gone to bed the day before, and it was Palm Sunday.  Does a feast day start on the calendar day, or with Vespers the night before?  This will have an impact on my Lent next year and possibly on my work habits this year.)  Although I knew it was coming, the day still shocked me.  Where did Lent go?  I swear it just started....

Some Lents pass me by, and this one has not.  God's been heavily at work in my life, including on a retreat this past weekend.  However, it still doesn't feel like the end of Lent.

As Lent ends, I want to share this reflection from Building Cathedrals, a blog by a group of Catholic women.  This post is for all those who wonder what a Lenten sacrifice is about and all those who struggled this Lent.

Books of the Future

Incidental Comics is one of my favorites, and I especially enjoy this one.  I'm not opposed to e-readers (I kind of want one, but that's merely a dream); however, I don't want to codex to disappear, for the reasons enumerated here.