Day-Maker #48

As a group of trick-or-treaters came to our door, I realized we were running low on candy.  I dropped a few pieces in every child's bag.  One small child looked at me worriedly, which confused me.  I'm not used to being a grown-up -- had I messed up on some part of Halloween etiquette?  All the other children ran back to the street, but not this tiny boy.  Instead, he said to me, as if this were the gravest problem in the world: "You're almost out of candy."

He left content when I told him I would refill my bowl.

Unplanned

This weekend is Fall Break or All Saints Break or Four-Day, depending upon who is speaking.  Either way, we have no classes today or tomorrow and most of the undergrads (along with a good chunk of grads) are gone away.  Due to the lack of undergrads, the GNT (graduate and non-traditional) community  decided to hold down fort at the abortion facility in Pittsburgh.

There was no 6am Mass on campus, so we went to the Franciscan Third Order Religious motherhouse at 7:15.  By the time we got out of Mass, got a blessing, and hit up McDonalds for coffee (an anonymous donor covered breakfast for us!) we were way behind the normal time of arrival.  In fact, we arrived at the abortion facility not long before, on normal weekends, we'd be leaving.

I wasn't very happy about this.  I get frustrated when things move slowly and tend to judge myself for not being a more intense person.  God tends to teach me lessons in these moments, but I forget them with unfortunate speed.

We settled into our prayer pod and commenced praying.  Our sidewalk counselors kept their more lonely vigil in the frigid weather.  After we had been there a couple hours, we decided to recite rather than sing a final chaplet, so we could head back in a timely manner.

As we started the chaplet, an ambulance pulled up to the front of the abortion facility.

We switched to singing the chaplet, which lasted us as the paramedics went inside.  As they came back out and pulled out a stretcher.  As they went back in and helped a woman out of the door and onto the stretcher and whisked her away in the ambulance.  And as the ambulance pulled off down the street, our chaplet ended.

I tell this story here for two reasons.  One: I (obviously) have no idea what went wrong for the woman, but please keep her in your prayers this week.  Two: God has funny timing, in that it always works for His perfect will.  More often than not, I don't realize this, but this Saturday was an affirmation of His faithfulness in the when of His plans.

Every Little Miracle

At the gym the past couple days, someone has left the TV on TLC's "A Baby Story."  Unsurprisingly, a Pampers commercial came on.  The content of the commercial surprised and delighted me.  Take a look-see:




I thought I was watching a pro-life ad at first!  I've been tearing up at the littlest thing lately, but still, it's not every day a commercial nearly makes me cry!

Hark Upon the Gale

I promised a blog on homecoming and, a week after the fact, here it is!  There's so much that can be said and (to be perfectly honest) so much that can't be said about that weekend, but I will do my best to crystallize most of the former here.

I left Steubie well before the sun arose, parked at the airport, and left my suitcase in my car.  I realized this promptly upon getting onto the airport shuttle.  The very kind shuttle driver backed up to my car, I hopped off, grabbed my suitcase, and hopped back on, thoroughly embarrassed.

My first plane ride was gorgeous.  We took off in dark, cloudy Pittsburgh... and rose above the clouds into the most stunning sunrise I have ever seen.  The sky shone in shades of pink, red, and salmon to the east and pink and blue-grey to the west.  Below us, the clouds formed an expanse of unending grey and white, shot through with reflections of light.  It reminded me of descriptions of creation, just after the fiat lux: the earth was without form and empty, but pure light shone over it.  Then the sun rose -- at first the tiniest silver of piercing salmon light, then too bright to look at, gleaming off cloud waves.  Right before we began descent, the sheet of clouds ended, so it looked as if we were about to fly off the edge of the world.

We stopped at BWI; my layover and second flight were uneventful.  Percy met me at Norfolk and we headed toward the 'burg.  There began my whirlwind tour of people and places I sorely miss.

Some highlights include:
 * Brigit's daughter marched in the colonial fife and drum!  I saw her in training all last year, so it was wonderful to watch her march!  We followed the fife and drum down DoG street like crazed colonial paparazzi.
* Hot cider in free-cider mugs.  I gave mine away to a dear friend when I left (seeing her was a highlight too!) so I stole Percy's for the day.
* Visiting the ladies' Lodge (seven-person on-campus house).  I colored a picture for their coloring wall to leave my mark on the place.  People kept dropping by, so I got to see amazing people and get lots of hugs.
* Seeing a group of friends I've known since freshmen year.  I love those people and don't see them enough!
* The CCM Alumni Wine and Cheese.  I got to see Marianne again as well as a ton of alum and current students.
* Staying with Julia.  I miss that girl like madness and it makes me sad that she is not constantly on my couch this year.
* Dinner at Sal's, breakfast and coffee at Aroma's, dinner at the Baker's Crust, and an afternoon at the Green Leafe.  All with awesome people of course.
*Chatting with Ariel, the current YACM.  It's good to know my desk is in good hands.
*Mass with CCM.  I can't begin to describe it, but I think it was (literally) a foretaste of heaven.  The Folk Group was approximately 8 times its normal size and complete with trumpet, violins, mandolin, and a ton of guitars.  And it was followed by a delicious reception.

These are only some highlights -- if I describe the whole weekend this post will be so long that no one will read it.  Leaving Julia's apartment to hop into Percy's car at an hour that was more late night than early morning was so hard.

I had a bonding moment with the TSA on my way through security in Norfolk.  He recognized my NoVA town on my license and commented that not many people from there fly through Norkfolk.  After I explained homecoming, he told me that his sister teaches at a school right up the road from me.

I arrived back in Steubie, safe and sound, and mysteriously unable to nap.

The Laugh Track

Homecoming happened this weekend and will make it up here soon, but for now, it's easier to quote Dr. Bergsma.  He was on a role tonight:

[Bonus points if you know the Biblical book we were reading without clicking any of the links.  Extra bonus points if you know what decision Peter made in the 4th quote.]

"Christ says, 'Go to the ends of the earth.'  Are we supposed to go to Tierra del Fuego?  'Repent ... penguins!' "

Reading about Stephen's martyrdom: "Now Stephen has obviously not studies the principles of Dale Carnegie.  A persuasive speech should not end in a rounding condemnation of your listeners."

On a Biblical woman: " 'Tabitha, which means Dorcas, or Gazelle'... If I were her, I'd stick with Tabitha."

On a decision of Peter's: "This is the decision.  If you have an issue with it, you can line up behind Ananias and Sapphira."

"If you can raise all the casualties of your homilies, you can preach as long as you want."

Friend of a Friend

My Facebook world just got strange: in one (very short) week, I received friend requests from both a former teacher (my first grade teacher!) and a former student.  My mind is blown and I no longer know how I fit in to the universe.

Shout-Out

This is a shout-out to the three law students I know who took the bar in July.  Two are friends from W&M Law and one is my cousin.  All three can now add "Esquire" after their names!  Congrats, guys!

To those of you still in law school -- hang in there!  You can do it!

Day-Maker #47

The most adorable small child ran through the student center, past our study cluster.  She wore a shirt that read, "Little Sis."  Ten seconds later, the second most adorable small child ran after her, wearing a shirt saying, "Big Sis."  Guess who got distract from their studies for the next 10 minutes?  If you guessed all 3 of us, males and females, you would be correct.

Poll of Men

Frank commented on my second Boys from Men post.  He disagreed with the main points of the article (as have other of my male friends).  However, he posted another article about behavioral norms and societal pressures -- how sexism hurts men.  (To my three loyal readers: you should read the comments on posts; your fellow readers have awesome things to say!)  Obviously, I don't experience this aspect of sexism the same way I experience its effects on women.

So I'm asking you, any men reading this: Has sexism affected your life?  Do you find that there are "stupid, unfair, and sexist" expectations of you?

Also, how do you feel about the label "feminist man"?  The author Frank cites uses the phrase to describe men who support the feminist agenda of general equality of rights and an end of sexism.

"But for the Grace of God..."

A week ago, Victoria came into Pittsburgh with the pro-life ministry.  She and I were running behind the rest of the group, so we approached the abortion facility alone, two young women walking down the sidewalk... so it was understandable when the "Pro-Choice Escorts," in their bright yellow vests, asked us if we were here for the clinic.  Before we had to answer, one of the other escorts pulled them away.  I've been in the situation before when, as I approach an abortion facility to pray, someone tries to talk me out of having an abortion, but I've never gotten it from the pro-choice side.

Earlier that week, I was in downtown Steubenville with the homeless ministry, chatting with a couple guys outside the shelter.  Another student, whom I didn't know very well, came out and began to introduce herself around, chatting up the crowd.  She, like a lot of us in the ministry (I pray to combat this in my own self), had the tone and inflection of charity in her voice as she asked me my name and if I was from around here.  It was clear that she didn't realize I had come in with the college crowd.  I laughed inside when it happened, but later caught myself thinking, Why did she think that?  Do I look too old to be at school? Do I look homeless?  What about me made me look homeless?  Why did she think I was homeless? 

The next week, I made a similar faux-pas at the Unity Kitchen, a food ministry downtown.  I sat at a table where a woman my age-ish was sitting alone and started chatting.  She very quickly assured me that she worked for a job evaluation agency and she was here observing someone, not to benefit from the services of the Unity Kitchen.  Her Lunchables gave proof of this.  

These three incidents stuck with me.  There's a country song (I like this version better) that comes from, I believe, an old saying, "But for the grace of God go I."  Recently, CVN had a video contest to answer the question : "Why do you serve?"  This line is a common answer to that question.  "I serve because not everyone has the blessings that I have.  Because, but for the luck of my birth, there go I."  

It is a beautiful, generous sentiment, but I think it misses the mark.  If I look into the eyes of another person and see what I could be, I lose something.  We should look into the eyes of another and see what we are.  (Not who we are, a unique and unrepeatable person, but what we are, a child of God, created in his image and likeness, with infinite value and worth.)  In that glimpse, when the eyes of another mirror the image of God in me, I come one step closer to understanding the way in which we are all one -- as John Donne put it, the way in which "no man is an island... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind."

This truth issues to us an incredible challenge, and, as my discomfort with these situations shows, I am far from rising to it.  But when it boils down to it, that is the reason to serve (and, on my good days, why I serve): not so much because others lack what I have, but because others have what I have -- the imprint of God in their very being and an indelible connection to the rest of humanity.

Misunderstandings

Being pro-life to me means a consistent ethic of life.  When I hear rhetoric about "the sanctity of life from conception to natural death," I take it at face-value.  All life is valuable and no human being has the right to take that life away.  I admit tough cases: self-defense or the protection of others/society.  However, the death penalty, in most cases in modern America, falls very clearly on one side of this line.  It is no longer about self-defense or defense of society, but rather about retribution, couched in language of "justice."

Hopefully, I don't need to point out the ways in which this pastor is wrong.  Asher shared this article with me a few weeks ago; give it a read-through.  A Southern Baptist seminary president makes the case that the death penalty supports the sanctity of life.  Why?  Because it affirms the value of life.  The article does not make clear in its quote exactly how Albert Mohler supports this claim by any logic, probably because no valid logic really can support his position.

Let me be clear: when we decide as a society that we can kill someone who has committed a crime, we act from revenge and retribution, not justice or self-defense.  And most assuredly not from a desire to affirm the sanctity of all life.

Things I Learned in Christology Last Night

"When you're being attacked by barbarians, you don't have time for leisure."

"Salt is neither explosive, nor is it a neurotoxin."

Cliff Notes on Life

My last bout of posts have been more about things and idea than about my life.  So in case you are wondering here's the bullets:

• All the fun things in my life lately have revolved around food, it seems.  Adventures making pumpkin cheese cake and beef wellington with Ginny and Will (new characters!), a successful red velvet cake for St. Michael and St. Vincent, Victoria's spaghetti sauce.  Even non-food adventures have revolved around food: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
• Not helping this idea: the highlights of my week are the ministries I've joined through the Works of Mercy.  The Unity Kitchen, where we serve food and eat with people; and "Hang Out with the Homeless."  While it's heartbreaking that there are kids at a homeless shelter, last night I got to be a T-Rex and eat a pterodactyl (and be a mommy pterodactyl), as well as learn about Cleopatria.
• Shakespeare Live brought A Winter's Tale to campus last night.  While I couldn't stay for the whole thing, I got to see the vast majority of my favorite Shakespearean play.  The group was hilarious.
• Two of my houseplants died during the major moves at the end of the summer.  My third plant, however, the spider from my VSC year, though extremely traumatized by the moves, is still alive.  Not only is it still alive, but it is growing new tentacles and reaching toward the window... reminding me that even in the gloomy, rainy weather, someone sees sunshine!
• I can't believe it's October!  Where did September go?!

Boys From Men, Part II

Here's another perspective on femininity and masculinity.  I think it's a facile treatment of complicated social trends, but I have a hunch not much research has been done to figure out what is going on, let alone why.  However, these ideas are coming out more and more in the media...

I'm especially curious to hear a male reaction to this opinion piece about "Why Men Are in Trouble."

Separating the Men from the Boys

I posted this article on Facebook Sunday to complete an earlier conversation.  It generated a lot of conversation, so apparently it has more value than simply inspiring a feminist rant.  I use the term "value" loosely -- it inspires conversation, not just Beth-rants, which are a dime a dozen.

So first, read here: "Do Men Think Smart Girls Are Unattractive?"  It has a provocative title and is a quick, easy read.

I've heard praise and critique for various parts of the article but here is the Cliffs-Notes version:
1) It should be satire.  (Thanks, Julia!  I agree!)
2) Some men are intimidated by the challenge to a better self that smart girls pose.
3) While some smart women want to be full-time mothers, even conservative women get upset at his overarching generalizations.
4) Buono doesn't even answer his own question.  (Read carefully.  It's true.)
5) General expressions of overall disgust and fury.

It's easy to see where Buono starts to go wrong: the title. Men shouldn't be pursuing smart girls. That makes them pedophiles. They should be pursuing smart women.  Let's start by setting the genders on equal footing.  You are men.  We are women.  If you are boys and we are girls, we need to start by talking about how to grow up.

He then shifts the question.  It's no longer about "smart girls." The problem isn't intelligence.  It's that women are successful, driven, and pursuing a career, which Buono assumes happens because they can't find a man who's grown up and decide it's the next best option.  But really, they are only "career single women" because they have "no incentive to be otherwise."  Not, heaven forbid, because she actually likes engineering or public relations or teaching or computer programming.

He does have a few good lines.  I've had a small sampling of masculine support for his claim that smart women intimidate men with the challenge of what they could be.  And it is true that "a woman will give the world to a man she knows loves her, respects her, and accepts her for who she is."  But sometimes a part of that love, respect, and acceptance is realizing that she really is a person with passions and pursuits outside her family in the public realm.

On the flip side, as a classmate pointed out, women need to stop effacing themselves in pursuit of men.  I think women face a voice whispering to them: "You're not good enough."  (I don't know if men encounter the same problem.)  When we don't believe that our best is good enough, it's hard to put forth our best.  It will fail and the backlash will hurt.  So we hide ourselves and offer only little pieces shaped into what we believe society wants.  (That's a drastic picture; it happens on small levels.)  It's scary how subtle and pervasive these influences are.  Even smart, confident women hear them and react.

Okay -- end rant.  Please comment!  Disagree, correct, clarify, and especially enlighten me!  I only have the experience of myself and a few others to go on -- and the world is bigger!