Modesty Post #3 or 4 or 8

Really, I'm not counting.

I've joined up with a local Catholic young  adult group for the summer.  We meet once a week for a talk and discussion led by a group member.  Last week the topic was dating and courtship, presented by Mrs. Marine (the wife of the previous week's presenter, a marine).

A bit of background on my approach to this topic: most of the time when I hear someone speak on this topic, I want to get up and leave the room.  Except over the past nine or ten months.  Recently, I've wanted to punch the speaker.  (I told Mrs. Marine the first part, but not the second.  No one has actually been in danger and I don't want to regain a reputation as "menacing" too fast.)

Mrs. Marine gave the best talk on the topic I had ever heard.  She started with the premises that: 1) dating is to lead to marriage and 2) marriage is to lead to heaven.  Then she went through a very practical, very straightforward, not emotion-based or preachy explication of her ideas of dating/courtship.  At the end, she reached a list of practical, what-can-I-do-now advice for men and women not currently in romantic relationships.  Here, her husband interrupted to reiterate something he had stressed the week before, the importance of modesty.

He speaks clearly, in short ideas, with no equivocation.  On both occasions, he urged women to dress modestly, for the sake of men.  "It's how we're wired," he explained.  Men need to dress modestly too, but it is a greater problem for how women dress and how men look.  "It's our job to control our eyes," but women can help.  It was a simple reminder of what Cain discovered: that we are all our brothers' keepers.  Always, the sinner is responsible for the sin; the perpetrator is responsible for the crime; the aggressor responsible, not the victim.  But if we love another person, why would we do anything to make life harder for them?  Again, no flowery language, not emotional appeal, no waffling around with indistinct ideas of beauty and mystery and being "captivating."  Dress modestly out of kindness for your brothers.

[Note: For those worried that the burden is placed unfairly on women, he had words for men as well, telling them not to objectify women and not to tolerate other who do.  These words just didn't speak to me quite the same way.]